How to Write a Bad Fanfiction
by iiCloudWatcherii
Summary: HI! You wanna know to write a bad fanfiction? Well I'm here to help! With examples from TMI and TID, you'll be writing bad fanfiction in no time! (Cross-fandom...May include fandoms beyond the Shadowhunter Chronicles) *Purely for fun* Won't update too often because as I stated previously, this is purely for fun.
1. Introduction

**Disclaimer: This is purely for fun, this is in no way meant to be taken seriously. It's just something fun I thought up and so here it is. I've written it with iiStargazerii (Who writes amazing fics by the way, just so you know) who I share an account with called iiFangirlzii. Enjoy!**

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><p>Introduction<p>

HI THERE! I'M iiCLOUDWATCHERii. Self-proclaimed bad fanfiction writer. Ten time winner of the "Worst Fic of the Year" award that I just made up. I also am on the Special Board of Writing Terrible Romance. I have been voted by America as "Best at Teasing Romance and Then Turning it Into Bad Fluff" and have received a Lifetime Achievement award by the Bad Writers Association. With this guide, I will teach you the key to writing bad fanfiction. I know, I know, it can be intimidating.

You'll probably never be as bad a writer as me but you have to at least have a go and one day, you'll be at the top of the bad fanfiction author food chain! Or you know, die trying. I don't really give a freak.

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><p>THIS IS iiSTARGAZERii HERE, iiCloudWatcherii personal Fluff Senpai. I found out that she was writing a guide on how to write bad fanfiction so I hacked her email and shared it with myself. She eventually agreed to let me become a co-author so yeah. I am five-time "Worst OC" nominee and on the Honorary Board of "Turning OC Females Into Mary-Sues". I have been voted by the users of as "Worst Fluff Writer".<p>

So I think I qualify for writing this guide.

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><p>WITH THE FLUFF SENPAI and general Senpai to all bad fanfiction writers, we make the ultimate team. Having trouble writing your fic? <em>How to Write a Bad Fanfiction<em> is here to help, with extremely and painfully detailed chapters walking you through the process that is writing. Follow this guide and those reviews and follows and favorites will start pouring in from cities you didn't even know existed!

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed it, please review, follow and favorite! Okay bai!<strong>


	2. Chapter 1

**Alrighty, first chapter! I hope you guys find it amusing, and take this as a guide on how NOT to write your fanfics!**

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><p>Chapter 1: Basics<p>

The Setting

THE KEY TO writing bad fanfiction, is the setting. The original story is set in Victorian Era London? Psht, freak that. Ain't nobody got time for that. Mess with the time period a little bit, be creative! Maybe turn everything into a high school, or a college, or just plain old modern day. Let the Senpai give you an example.

_Jem sat quietly at lunch with his best friend, Will. "Who are you texting?" He stuck his nose into his best friend's personal bubble. _

"_Tessa." Will replied. "Such. A. Babe." He nodded with a grin. "Totally gettin' me some'a dat ass tonight!" _

"_Hey! Tessa's mine! She likes me!" Jem stood up, his silver hair tickling his eyeball. "No she doesn't moron, she likes me!" The boys rolled onto the ground in a cloud of violence. They both wanted some'a dat booty._

You see? With a new setting, the fanfiction is instantly bad. You're messing with the integrity of the original story and thus heavily damaging the reader's image of it.

The Characters

THE NEXT ESSENTIAL ingredient to writing a soul-murdering fanfiction, is the characters. Turn the girl into a Mary-Sue! Have a guy who is moderately attractive? Don't give the female OC protagonist _any personality at all_.

All you have to do is have them looking flawless all the time and be overly descriptive about their looks.

_Katie woke up, and glancing at the clock next to her, she saw that she was late for school. "MOTHERFREAKER!" She shouted. She slipped on a black mini skirt paired with a pink tank top. She didn't even brush her hair or put on any makeup. God knows she didn't need any anyway. _

"_Hurry your ass up!" Will shouted from his red Ferrari._

"_OKAY!" Katie slipped on her red stilettos and ran to his car with as much grace as a cat. _Damnnnnnnn, _Will thought. He needed some'a dat blond hair with light brown highlights that was always curled even when she didn't do anything to her hair. _

"_You lookin' mighty fine today." Will nodded as he bit his lip._

"_Shut up and drive me to school."_

"_Will, I think I'm falling for you."_

"_Mm, okay."_

"_Will, if I was dying and you were too but you could only save one of us-Who would you save?"_

"_Me."_

"_I think about you literally everyday. Everyday. Especially in the shower, if you know what I mean," She winked._

_Will did not reply. At this point, she was frustrated. Did he not like her? She kissed him passionately. The car swerved into a farm and they both died. Will Herondale died knowing that he would get some'a dat booty._

What we've essentially done here is change the personality of the character (in this case, Will). It says here on _the Shadowhunter's Wikia_ that he is self-sacrificing, has a perfect memory and reads extensively. Psssssssshhhhht, bump alla dat, ain't nobody want a character with _morals_! And also note what we've done with the OC. We've made her shallow with questionable morals and fashion sense.

Plot (Part 1)

NOW THE FINAL thing you need to figure out before you dive into writing is the plot. Where do you want it to go? What's the genre? Fluff overload, action overload, anger overload? It's all up to you!

Now, choose your PoV. Be sure to suddenly switch then without warning. Oh, I'm sorry, was this in the narrator's point of view? WELL THINK AGAIN BITCH! HA HA! Now we can get inside Tessa's head and stuff! Yay! Did I mention I'm switching to Jem now? Because I am.

_I hate being stuck in between two boys! It's annoying as freak! Jem's so sweet and I love the way his silver hair would reflect the sun and fall into his eyes because he's a silver-haired emo like that. But then Will is just so hot! His black hair has much more volume than mine. How dafuq does that work!? And don't even get me started on his attitude. That arrogance makes him so sexy!_

_I don't like having to fight my own best friend for a girl. But Tessa was just so beautiful! I love the way she towers over everyone in school, and the way she walks, gosh I just love everything about her!1! I brush silver hair out of my face. Damn hair always gettin all up in my eyeballs._

Relationships

DO YOU REMEMBER THAT awesome, loving sibling relationship between (insert character 1 here) and (insert character 2 here)? HAHA well we're about to throw that out the window. Seriously. Just down even look down. Just throw it straight out.

Oh, and remember that sweet friendship between (insert character 1) and (insert character 3 here). Well you guess it! SLEDGE HAMMER THAT ISH. Even if they're both girls (or guys), turn that friendship into a impulsive romance! There's nothing wrong with a little homo here and there, don't be homophobic, freak you.

And that loving mother-daughter (or father-daughter relationship?) Didn't you love it? HA HA TIME FOR THE DAD (OR MOM) TO CHEAT ON THE OTHER AND HAVE THE PROTAGONIST HATE THEM FOR ALL TIME WHOO!

_"ALEC!" Isabelle shouted from her room. "What is it, princess?" Alec asked mockingly in an exasperated tone. "Where's my eyeliner?" She put her hands on her hips. "Did Magnus come for a 'sleepover' again?" Alec only giggled. Isabelle sorted through various eyeshadow palettes and pigment jars. "And my glitter's missing!" _

_"What, now you can't do your stripper makeup?" Alec teased as he folded his arms across his chest. "I'm being serious!" She threw down a hairbrush. "Don't you have like ten of those things?" He leaned against the door frame. "They're all gone! All of them!" She was fuming. "If that faggy warlock boyfriend of yours is stealing my makeup, you'd best be afraid. Don't. Wake. The snake." _

_"Chill out, Iz. Go with the flow. Don't be jealous that I have a smokin' boyfriend and all you have is that pathetic excuse for a male."_

_"Oh, piss off, Alec."_

_"Fine." He turned around before completely walking out. "Oh and I will _always _wake the snake." He walked away. "PMSing bastard," Izzy muttered._

Boom. Relationship ruined. By doing this, the protagonist (In this case, Izzy)'s relationship with her brother is squashed. Now you have an excuse to make Izzy feel like she doesn't belong at home and make her rebel and ish.

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><p><strong>If you have any suggestions, or another chapter you think we should add, please leave a review and don't forget to follow and favorite!<strong>


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Heavy Duty Stuff

Vocabulary

NOW THAT YOU'VE got your plot set up and all your characters are in place, it's time to start writing. Remember to always use the same word over and over and over. Feel free to be totally repetitious.

_Katniss sighed. She hated District 12. Why did she have to be born poor? Why couldn't she have been born into the Capitol? She sighed again. Sighing was her new favorite activity. She shot a deer with no mercy. He would be her dinner. She sighed as she got home. "I have dinner." Katniss sighed. Her mother sighed. "I guess this is fine,"_

Shazam! Your fanfiction is now extremely bad!

Another thing to remember is to have a very limited vocabulary. Words like "abundant" and "epidemic" are way too advanced to make your fanfiction bad. Stick with the simple stuff, like "a lot" and "crisis". Let's take this extremely articulate sentence and turn it into something more suitable for a bad fanfiction.

_It was turning into an epidemic. There were an abundance of patients at the hospital entrance, waiting to be cured. "Please, help," exhausted groans and sleepy eyes were all we saw and heard. _

You'll never be able to write a bad fanfiction with these big words!

_It was turning into a crisis. There were a lot of patients at the hospital entrance, waiting to be cured. "Please, help," tired groans and eyes were all we saw and heard._

Perfect! Much better!

Coincidences/Predictability (Plot Part 2)

BE SURE TO INCLUDE lots of coincidences. The person the protagonist ran into just _happens _to be a central character in the original show/series/book/film/musical? No doubt and I mean, _no. Doubt_. They will run into them again later and possibly engage in a friendship/romance. Oh, the two main characters literally have _everything _in common? Sounds like we're cooking up a fresh batch of predictability today. Also, an OC named Zora.

"_I like the intense burn of runes. I also like seraph blades." Jace said. "Oh my God! Me too!" Zora exclaimed. "I also think that I am extremely attractive and expect every woman to pee themselves every time they see me and the inevitably drop dead. Because I'm so hot." Jace deadpanned. "Me as well!" "We should go out sometime." He smirked. "Sure!"_

You're welcome. We've just taken our lovely OC, Zora, and lumped her and Jace together in one room. So much romantic tension right now, _of course _they're going to "coincidentally" have everything in common. Well, not everything but all the stuff that anyone ever cares about.

Next up, predictability. Make sure you set up your antagonist so that they drop subtle hints that they either planning an attack/prank on the protagonist. Have them say things like "Better watch out, you'll never know what's coming for you," etc.

Action Sequences

NOW YOU WANT TO make sure that if it's an action/mystery/thriller-type story, that you include at least a few action-y scenes. Make sure you give the protagonist sudden badassery so that they're sure to win the fight. Even though your character is barely trained in any combat, just go with it. They've never shot a gun? Don't even make them jump back at the recoil, or fire at a tree, give them perfect freaking aim. (One Shadowhunter OC and one mundie OC girlfight) (Yes I know that this would probably never happen in the real _Shadowhunter Chronicles _but again, this is a bad fanfiction.)

"_I don't want to fight you," Keira said, a crease forming in between her eyebrows. "You're lying!" Elizabeth exclaimed, swinging her seraph blade blindly. Keira narrowly dodged the attempted attack. She had always had fast reflexes, and now it was time to put them to the test. She pulled out a Swiss Army knife, as it was all she had on her. "If that's how you wanna play it," Elizabeth swung again, this time grazing Keira on the shoulder. _ Oh no she didn't_, Keira thought. She swept her leg onto the floor in a circle, knocking Elizabeth off the ground. However, the Shadowhunter got up. "You're pretty good for a mundie," She said and Keira kicked her hard in the ankle. Elizabeth yelped. Keira took her Swiss Army knife and stabbed her without second thought. She had just killed a Shadowhunter._

Keira is a mundie with the agility of a trained Shadowhunter. Make sense? Of course not! But that's what you want. Keira is probably from a small suburb of Cincinnati and was sheltered her whole life but who the hell cares? In a fight, she's badass.

Humor

HUMOR ISN'T REALLY needed in a bad fanfiction. It should be so bad that it's funny. The terrible-ness of the story will suffice.

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><p><strong>Aaah! I'm back! I'm sorry I've been gone for so long! I've been busy, and then writers block hit. This isn't as long as the last chapter but I hope you guys like it!<strong>


	4. Chapter 3

**Where have I been!? OMG I am so so so so SO, sorry for not updating! Writer's block as usual, but the holidays were quite hectic and busy for me! I hope you can forgive me! One more exclamation point and I can call myself Excited Basic White Girl! Also to thedarkwhiteangel, thank you so much for reviewing! I'm glad you've been enjoying it and I hope you haven't forgotten about this little fic!**

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><p>Chapter 3: Romance<p>

Teasing the Romance

YOU KNOW HOW IN good fanfictions, the author usually teases at a romantic relationship between the two characters? HAHA, just like what we did with the relationships, we're going to throw alla dat out the window. Just run straight into it. Besides some lusty glances every once in a while across the room, just have them run into each other and be like "OMG I LOVE YOU LETS DATE".

_Clary tapped her pencil on her desk in obvious boredom. Her eyes shifted over to Jace. To her surprise, he was staring back at her, his golden eyes twinkling. She nervously turned her head back to her notebook but she could still feel his eyes on her._

_After class came to a close and they were all dismissed, Clary found Jace with his back against her locker. Her heart raced. "Um, you're blocking my locker," She managed to croak out. "Oh, I am?" Jace said, with mock surprise. "Yeah…" She replied quietly. He stared at her for a while before standing upright and resting his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans. Silence followed. Jace suddenly leaned forward and Clary's breath caught as her heart rate increased. Jace and Clary had never talked much before, and she realized she knew nothing about him. She never knew his favorite color, his favorite food, his hobbies, hell, she didn't even know his last name. "Do you want to get a cup of coffee sometime?" He finally said. His eyes remained focused on hers, his gaze never wandering. "Sure," She said, in a quiet voice. One corner of his mouth tugged up slightly as he tilted his head at her. He leaned in even closer and kissed her. At first Clary was shocked by his sudden act of apparent affection, but slowly leaned in, deepening the kiss and resting her hand at the back of his neck._

There ya go! Jace and Clary knew nothing about each other but we've made Jace be all like "OH OK YOU SAID YES TO COFFEE, KISS!" Clace shippers like suck up this stuff like leeches. And so they should, it's good ish.

Fluff

THIS IS ONE OF THE most if not the most important parts of your bad fanfiction. Ah, the thing so many good authors have talents for...Fluff. If you don't know what fluff is, be ashamed. Fluff is basically a moment of romance, in my definition. Take for example, the greenhouse scene in TMI. Clace became canon. They kissed. It was fluffy. Get it? No? Go read that section again until you understand. I smell some bad fluff coming. (OCxJace again)

_Zora followed the noise of a piano playing and soon found the golden haired boy focusing intensely on the instrument. She just stared at him for a while, standing in the frame of the door. "Hey." She decided to say. The music stopped abruptly. "Hey." He said simply. She walked over to him and sat down on the bench. Her heart beat quickened to the point where she felt like the organ would just pop out of her body and leave her limp and lifeless where she sat. "What are you doing?" She croaked out. "What did it look like I was doing?" Jace rolled his eyes. She was annoying. Annoying af. But some part of him felt drawn to her. Like she was a magnet. He pushed those thoughts away from his mind. Zora put her hand on Jace's and just as he was about to pull away, she pressed her lips to his. Jace was shocked at first and nearly pulled away but he then decided against it. His feelings toward Zora got the better of him._

That Awkward Moment When They Fight

EVERY COUPLE FIGHTS, ESPECIALLY fictional characters. You know how good authors write intense and thrilling fights? Well since this is a bad fanfiction, we want to make the fights barely that. They shall fight over stupid things, and not talk to each other for like, five minutes and then resume their romance. (Modern AU Wessa)

"_I don't get why you can't just get off your lazy ass, and wash the goshdarn dishes!" Tessa exclaimed, placing her hands on her hips. "You're blocking the TV." Will said simply. She took the remote and threw it at the television. "To hell with the TV! That's all you do! If we're going to make this relationship work, there needs to be effort coming from both ends!" _

"_Whatever, Tessa. Now you just cost us 6 grand." Tessa felt burning rage boil within her. Color rushed to her cheeks as her hands balled into fists. "Where do you think you're going?" She almost screamed._

"_To bed." And in that moment, Tessa Gray picked up a plate and proceeded to throw it at Will Herondale. "What the actual eff Tessa?!"_

_And another plate. And another. And another until Tessa was too tired to throw anymore. Fuming with anger, she marched out the door whilst grabbing a coat as she went. "Tessa, no, don't g-" She heard as she shut the door behind her. She leaned against the door and slid down. She ran to the park, where she went to clear her head. _

_Moments after she sat down on a bench, she saw a black-headed figure in the distance. It was Will. He sat down next to her. "I'm still mad at you."_

"_I know."_

"_How did you find me?"_

"_I know you, Tessa."_

"_Do you? Because I feel like often you don't care to learn much about me." Will gave her a perplexed look. "You're not _engaging_, you're not thoughtful, you don't care, you-" Will took her face in his hands and kissed her. He released her after what seemed like eons. Tessa couldn't stay mad at this boy. She kissed him back._

Boom. Done. You're welcome. Pay attention to how once Will's just like "omg Iz knowz uz Tessaz" she's like "ew eff you" and then he kisses her and she's all like "haha ok i love u" because that's what we want. We want abrupt endings, no time for any character development. Just go for it.

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed this chapter and don't forget to review this story so I know that people like it or if you have any suggestions for future chapters, let me know because I could use the help. Also remember to follow and favorite! OK BAI!<strong>


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